Last night I was looking at some pictures on our computer and also watched the two videos that I had compiled from photos of Isaac. It has been several months since I’ve strolled through those memories. As I reopened my memory closet, I was reminded of how much I really miss our son.
Isaac left quite an impression wherever he went. The boy could be loud and he really enjoyed a hearty laugh. If there was fun involved, Isaac wanted to participate. He was also a leader – he liked to take charge of a situation. I remember how determined he was to rescue Patches the cat out of a tree for his sister, Isabella. Because Isaac left such an impression on our lives, a very large void remains after his departure. As I was telling someone recently, it feels like there is a hole in the middle of our family. Though God has helped us tremendously to feel as one when we’re together, I still feel incomplete. I don’t know if I will ever feel complete as a family this side of Heaven.
I anxiously anticipate the day to be reunited with Isaac in Heaven. I don’t know what the nature of our relationship will be, but I imagine it will be even more glorious than what it was here on earth. After all, we will be in the presence of God the Father and God the Son! Jesus said:
Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know. (John 14:1-4)
I believe that Isaac is seeing that place that Jesus is preparing or has prepared for us. Being the leader that he is, I imagine that he will want to give us a guided tour himself.
Knowing that I have an eternal destiny waiting for me in Heaven, through faith in Jesus Christ, this time here serves to prepare me for that destiny and perfect my faith. What I do here and now will determine what rewards I receive in Heaven (note that salvation is not a reward, it is a free gift to those who believe in the Son). Even so, I walk this earthly journey sensing that a great void is always with me. Yet, even with this void caused by the departure of my son, I cling to my God for:
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. (Psa 147:3)
I leave you today with this quote from A. W. Tozer that has graced my eyes on several occasions recently: “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply.”
Tozer also writes:
The flaming desire to be rid of every unholy thing and to put on the likeness of Christ at any cost is not often found among us. We expect to enter the everlasting kingdom of our Father and to sit down around the table with sages, saints and martyrs; and through the grace of God, maybe we shall; yes maybe we shall. But for the most of us it could prove at first an embarrassing experience. Ours might be the silence of the untried soldier in the presence of the battle-hardened heroes who have fought the fight and won the victory and who have scars to prove that they were present when the battle was joined.
(Tozer, A. W. The Root of the Righteous. As quoted on: http://www.crossway.org/blog/2010/02/must-we-be-hurt-deeply-to-be-used-significantly/, accessed February 7, 2013.)
Have you been hurt deeply in your life? Has that hurt left a void in your heart? Do you blame God for what happened? Do you blame Him because He is sovereign and, even though He may not have caused the hurt, He didn’t prevent it? Whatever the hurt or the void, He alone can permanently and completely heal and fill them. He has greater purposes for them than we can ever imagine, if we would just have faith. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of these truths – that is one of my purposes for writing.